I called Brandon and chaos began. He packed a bag (for him and Gage and forgot about mom lol), and made it to the hospital just in time to give me a kiss goodbye. I started to cry then, fear was getting the best of me. It was a short cry, just had to get it out of my system lol.. Brandon reminded me everything was going to be ok; he got in the car and began the drive to TO. I was given a medication to stop my labour so I could get airlifted to Toronto without delivering mid-air. Of course Gage decided to come on a day when it was raining and windy. The plane shook violently the whole way there, but surprisingly I was much calmer than I thought I would be. I think it began to sink it that I was going to be a mom by days end. I was going to be a mom to the most amazing little boy. I look like hell, and was terrified!! lol
For those that are seeing this for the first time, please keep in mind this is not typical. If you look super closely, you can actually see the spinal cord running along the top of the sac. It was really hard to look at this. It measured 5x5 and looked like an organ. Plastics came in to assess him and tried to make a plan. The warned us that his closure may not look like what expect. They said it may have to be round and pulled in a circular pattern to close it completely, and they may even need to use skin grafts if there was not enough good skin. They would start peeling away the layers and see what happened when they got in.
It was a perfect closure. Better then anyone could have expected. We found out then that his lesion level was L5-S3. Gage had made it through his first surgery and was doing so well...
4 days later...
And a month ago...
Gage's incision is now almost completely faded other than a beautiful red heart over his lesion. How fitting :)
At 5 days old Gage had his first shunt put in. He had his first revision on June 30th at approximately 6 weeks old, and another revision 8 days later. 3rd one is a charm so far. We have also discovered that Gage may have a symptomatic Chiari. Thankfully his vocal cords are ok, and he has no breathing problems, but it has created a large syrinx in his spine located from C4-T6. His next surgery may be a decompression sooner than we would like... Yes it is hard, but as moms you just find the strength deep down inside you to be a rock for your kiddos. He needs me, so I suck it up and stay strong for him.
I could go on and on about our days and weeks at the hospital, but those days are behind us now. We are happy going to our regular check ups and showing off how well he is doing. Gage is now 12lbs 10oz, healthy, happy and an absolute joy.
If you're saying "I just can't imagine".. neither could I. Never in a million years would I have pictures myself in these shoes. Having a little baby with different needs than most babies. But let me tell you something else; never in my life would I have pictured myself this happy. this proud. this confident in who I am. Gage has changed me forever as I person. Many people will go through life never really knowing their purpose, never understanding why they were put here and what they are supposed to do. I was put here to be Gage's mom. And he was given to me to show me what it truly means to be happy. Gage brings light and joy to so many people, even those just passing by. He really is my little miracle, I am such a lucky mom <3
Here are some more pictures, enjoy!! I know I am :)
|Preofessional Shot in hospital|