Wednesday, 11 May 2011

To All The Mommy's...

Happy Mother’s Day (from a special needs perspective) - By Misty Boyd

The following is reprinted with permission from the blog of Misty Boyd, "Broken Body/Whole Spirit."


If I could be a little girl again and know the things I know now, I would thank my mom a lot more for the sacrifices she made for me when I was growing up. So, for Mother’s Day, I’ve decided to use what I know now to thank her and all the other spina bifida moms I know for things I wasn’t aware of then.


Thank you for giving me life when “they” said I’d be better off dead. Thank you for fighting on my behalf when I was too little and weak. Thank you for loving me even though you were scared. Thank you for becoming a nurse in our home long before you were ever a nurse at a hospital. I know that must have been intimidating. Thank you for learning what all those tubes were for, and where they went, and how they helped me. Thank you for countless doctor visits and E.R. visits, no matter what time I needed to go. Thank you for walking up and down the halls of the hospital with me while people gawked. Thank you for your paranoia about every little thing that didn’t seem right. I know sometimes you thought you looked nuts, but I’m sure it kept me alive more than once. Thank you for yelling at doctors when they said, “She’s fine,” when you knew me well enough to know I wasn’t. Thank you for the ugly stares you gave back to people when I was doing my best to learn to walk. Thank you for being patient when other kids my age were running circles around me. I needed more time. Thank you for remembering countless medications, and cath schedules, and putting my AFO’s on for me, and dressing me when it took me a little longer to learn. Thank you for yelling at me when I wouldn’t take care of myself as a teenager (not that it worked…I’m stubborn). Thank you for making me stubborn. I needed that attitude. I don’t know how I would have made it without my pain in the rear attitude. Thank you for pushing me to do everything you knew I could do, and I knew I couldn’t. Turns out, you’re pretty smart. Thank you for letting me do things you were scared of. I know I terrified you sometimes. I had to know if I could ride my bike down that hill at supersonic speed. I could. Fun! Thank you for making me know that I was worthy of love. I never let a boy tell me anything different. There were a lot of worms, but I dropped them all for something I knew I deserved. Thank you for cheering at my graduation. If my doctors had it their way, that day wouldn’t have come, but you believed. Thank you for spending countless hours planning that crazy wedding, yet another thing that wasn’t supposed to happen. And thank you for forks! LOL! Only my mother will get that one! Basically, thank you for stepping into an unfamiliar, scary world, that you didn’t sign up for. I appreciate it, and I think you did a great job! I turned out okay!


Your SB kid

SB moms…please know that your children feel this way, or at least they will when they look back on their lives and see all you’ve done for them. Take this letter as your own. I wrote it for all of you, from your babies who can’t tell you any of this yet. Happy Mother’s Day!
I hope I can step up and be as good as mom to Gage as this woman has been to her daughter. I hope Gage knows I will fight to the moon and back to give him everything he needs. I hope he knows I will never give up on him, no matter how many people think I should. I hope he knows how proud I am to be his mom already.
5 weeks seems like such a long time to wait. My next appointment is at 38 weeks in Toronto, and I am pretty determined to convince those docs to induce me. Gage was already 5.5 pounds at his 34 week ultrasound, so we know he is going to be big and healthy LOL. The thought of delivering a 9-11 pound baby really doesn't sit too well with me, as with any other mother I would assume haha. If I am already in Toronto at 38 weeks, why not just keep me there and get it over with instead of sending me home to have to fly me out again a short time later.. seems silly to me..
I am very much done being pregnant. The closer I get to delivery, the more nervous I get. I hate that there are still so many unknowns, and I am going to worry myself sick with everything until the day the neurosurgeon comes in and tells me that everything is OK. Brandon- cool as a cucumber.. as per usual. I wish I had nerves of steel like he does. I am kind of glad he will be going over to the Sick Kids hospital with Gage first; I would just be a mess and of no help to anyone. I will be anxious to get over there as quickly as possible, but I know Brandon will be able to hold it together in the midst of all the craziness after delivery.
So if i have it my way, Gage will be here in 3 weeks. :) The hard part is almost over... See you soon little man