Thursday, 21 April 2011

What to Expect When You're Expecting...Yeah Right!

This little man sure likes to keep us on our toes... Last week I had soem bleeding which of course sent Brandon and I into a slight panic and a trip to the hospital at 1am. After bloodwork and tests and being hooked up, they determined that Gage was fine, and sent me home. Yesterday I get a call from the hospital saying I had to come back, that there were some concerns with my bloodwork. Turns out that there are small traces of Gage's blood in with mine (I am a negative blood type, so this can be damaging to the baby and future pregnancies) so I had to get another Rhogam shot in the hip followed by more bloodwork. Here is hoping that the shot does it's job. If it's not one thing it is another with this darn pregnancy! One good thing came from this though, the doc finally agreed to do ultrasounds every 2 weeks from now until I deliver to be safe. YAY! Finally, some common sense and peace of mind. On that note, it also appears as though Gage has flipped (head down), DARN!!! I was hoping he would stay breech and then they would have to scedule a section. Oh well, Gage is making the rules and will make his appearance however he feels most comfortable I guess :)

In the last couple weeks, I have also come to accept that nothing is predictable in this pregnancy. I can not follow guidelines, or "what to expect when you're expecting"... No where in my pregnancy 'bible' does it talk about Spina Bifida or what to expect with such a diagnosis. It doesn't prepare me for the overwhelming fear of delivering a child that will then be taken out of my arms to another hospital. No where does it prepare me for the NICU or for all the medical mumbo jumbo that seems to be filling my brain. It certainly doesn't prepare me for all the unknowns. Instead, I have had to accept that no matter how badly I want control of this situation, it is not going to happen. I have to put complete faith and trust in Gage's doctors and be confident that they are going to make the best decisions for him. If they are certain that a natural delivery is going to be ok for him, then I have to believe that too.

Adding to that, I keep seeing these charts and blurbs about milestones and at what age your child should be reaching them.. and I am beginning to realize that Gage likley won't meet these milestones at the same time as other children, but I am keeping faith that he WILL hit them at some point. He will sit, he will stand, he will walk. He may do it differently, and he may need to work a little harder, or get tired a little faster, but he will do all these things that some seem to think he won't. I don't think I am getting ahead of myself, or wishing for things that may not come... I think Gage is showing us how feisty he is. I think this little man is going to amaze me every single day. I am so proud to be his mom, and Brandon is proud to be his dad.
We can't wait to meet him. <3

PS. Baby shower May 7th!! Finally some normalcy... I am SO excited to have everyone in one room to celebrate Gage's soon-to-be arrival!

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